As I woke up this morning thinking about just how I felt about today being Father's Day my thoughts started to wonder a bit. What does the words Father, Dad and Daddy mean to me?
First off the word Father or Dad stir a very different emotion inside of me. It's the relationship of my birth father, step father or as it applies to "the father of my children"
BIRTH FATHER
I think this is the only positive male role model i had in my childhood. The dynamics ended up being positive. He is a very laid back calm and caring ...not easy to anger type personality. Hes always been the type of father that no matter what is going on in his life he would drop everything just to be there for his daughter. Even though my parents where divorced when I was 10 this didn't break the bond between him and I . I was very fortunate to have such a wonderful father in my life.
STEP FATHER
This is a very emotional category in my past. He was a very controlling authoritarian type personality. I suppose some of that was due his military training. He was the male that truly distorted my young tender view of males and the world in general. My childhood turned from being innocent and loving to my days filled with childhood sexual abuse ... leading the way to my adult feelings of abandonment and mistrust. My step father gave me my first taste of BDSM ( spanking, ropes, cuffs, pain, and the list goes on)
FATHER OF MY CHILDREN
This has been a very positive relationship for my children. I can honestly say he has been a good father to them. He has taught them so many good things about being the type of responsible people they have grown up to be... for this I am thankful. He has not always been there for me on an emotional level and is not capable of being that Master/Daddy Dom that i truly need... so for this reason the relationship has at some points lead to feelings of fulfillment... abandonment.... mistrust.
LIFE'S CHANGING EVENT MEETING MY
DADDY / MASTER
As today is Father's Day its stirred me to think about how my past relationships with males have influenced me to be a little ( Daddy/ little relationship within an adult type relationship). Being a little isn't for everyone and I understand that... many people... mostly ones that don't understand the dynamic find it to be disturbing but really its not about the Doms attraction to children at all... its way different than that.
Everyone that has a Daddy/little relationship is different in how they lay the ground rules and expectations.... No two are the same.
When I first started embracing my submissive side I really didn't set out to find this type of relationship.. the thought had not even crossed my mind. Only by chance in researching on google did i find what this type of relationship was. While reading various submissive blogs I had one of those ahhhhh moments that you just know deep in your soul....
THIS IS WHAT I AM MISSING IN MY LIFE!
Fast forward past just the research stage.... I was approached by a Dom in a role play type of virtual world online.... again I was not even on the site in search of anyone or anything... just enjoying using my skills as a graphic artist. The relationship grew slow. As I discovered the Daddy part of my now Master it all made perfect since about how my previous life has effected my draw to this type of Daddy/ little relationship.
Just my personal thoughts as it pertains to my life....
I've always needed the strong emotional arms of a male role model to embrace my emotional needs. Maybe because those lines where blurred so much in my childhood... with boundaries being crossed that never should have by a male role model in my childhood. My Daddy Dom definitely fulfills this need inside of me. His loving arms around me replaces the thoughts of abandonment and emotional harm with safe secure grounded emotions. This theory does not hold true for all Daddy/little relationships not all have a past history of abuse... this relationship is not about my Daddy trying to heal my past abuse... although he does take on this role as it is his choice to do so.
I have read studies that daughters grow up to seek male relationships much like that which resembles the personality traits of their birth fathers. This idea does make sense to me that my Daddy Dom is much like that... he is calm, caring and comforting. It takes a lot to make my Daddy Dom angry... which I don't think I ever want to cross that line with him and I haven't in the years we have been together. I do think I have learned my place well... I know what is expected of me.... and I don't fight it.
I think of my Daddy as my guide threw life. I am very much dependent on him for my emotional growth but at the same time can very much stand on my own to handle things that need to be as he allows. Being a little isn't a sign of weakness in my eyes... its about being that special person that Daddy holds in the highest spot in his heart. He is my protector and very much the center of my universe.... the light that guides my every step. To him I am his baby girl and slut... he puts all my needs first and will go to extremes to make sure I am safe and emotionally happy. Daddy challenges his baby girl to grow in her submission and isn't afraid to hand down punishment only because he loves me.
Now for the topic of sexual play... for Daddy and I it is ALWAYS me being very much an adult.... age play is not our thing. As for physical appearance Daddy does give the order for his baby girl to be in pig tails with long ribbons... much like is the way my mother put my hair up as a child. I enjoy it and find that when my hair is up this way i feel an extreme sense of being HIS baby girl!
I would be very interested in hearing from some other littles or Daddy Dom type relationships about their dynamics... feel free to comment below or email me for a private discussion on the topic.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL!
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