What does it mean to be a submissive?
What does it take to be a good submissive?
How can I be a better submissive to my Master?
Many of the answers to these questions are very personal and are different in each situation. I will give some of my thoughts and feelings about how I came to submission but want to make it clear that how i think and feel may not be the same for your Master and yourself.
First off ..... What does it mean to be a submissive?
Many miss guided people searching for info about submission tend to think its all about the SEX. While in some cases a weekend or just a play submissive may be just that... only submissive for sex purposes. For me being a submissive is part of my personality and who I was born to be not something that I woke up one morning and decided oh it might be fun to be a submissive today. I think there are very much personality traits that one has which make being a submissive very natural and spiritual sense of self.
For the longest time my outward appearance was that of dominance and control. I needed to be the one controlling every part of my life due to coping skills learned in order to deal with abusive people in my life. I spiraled down out of control with a diagnosed eating disorder that almost ended my life... in my attempt to control everything in my life including food and the lack there of. During periods of extreme control Ive always been miserable and felt empty needing something more in my life. I built many walls around myself in order to protect what was on the inside.
To me being a submissive means to be allowed to finally be the person Ive always meant to be from birth. The submissive part of me has always been tucked away in my soul begging to be let out but with a safe partner that will have my best interest at heart. Trust is a huge part of submission! If your Master doesn't have your best interest in mind then sometimes its not submission its control and abuse. Looking back to my past abusive relationships... even back as far as age 12.... i see how i was always an easy target for abuse due to my personality traits of being a submissive. Ive always longed for someone to serve and please in the most extreme way... to give myself to someone so unselfishly. I just see now that i allowed others to take advantage of that and use me for their own needs without regard to what was in my best interest.
Secondly..... What does it take to be a good submissive?
To me being a good submissive has never been about the act of doing something perfect. When I am matched with the right Master being a good submissive comes naturally. My deepest desire is to serve my Master. I trust my Master to guide me to what will make me a better submissive for his needs. Not all Masters what the same things from their submissive. Something I ask myself threw out the day in every situation is .... What will please my Master the most? When Master is happy it is then that I can be truly happy and content with myself. Oh you will have days when you just don't feel up to doing something or have an internal struggle about doing something that isn't easy or comfortable at the time but in the end that doesn't make you a bad submissive it only means you are human. Ways i work on being a better submissive is to build self confidence to feel better about who i am on the inside and to build my self worth.... of course always putting my Master at the center of all those feelings.
Third .........How can I be a better submissive to my Master?
1. Work on any problems you have emotionally.... work to deal with the baggage from your past if you have any. My history of emotional/ physical and childhood sexual abuse are all things I work on daily in order to be able to be a better submissive.
2. Ask your Master... being open and honest is the best policy. Find out what his true needs are from his submissive. Get on the same page. Your Master cant read or mind and neither can you his. Keep in mind what his needs are and the rest will come naturally.
3. When your Master directs you to improve on something don't take it personal.... take the information serious and actually work to make it better. Ignoring your Masters advice is not such a great way to build a healthy relationship so always acknowledge his thoughts and feelings on things. If its something you cant do or need additional guidance on to improve it then tell him so.
4. Don't hide your feelings. I think all to many times a submissive feels they cant share certain things with their Master..... to this I say how can your Master mold you into his true submissive if he don't know the real you.
Some additional reading that may help......as you read more and more you will find things that relation to your desires and those of your Masters. I encourage everyone to gain as much information as they can when deciding if these things apply to your relationship......
TIPS ON BEING A GOOD SUBMISSIVE
ARE YOU CUT OUT TO BE SUBMISSIVE?
WHAT MAKES A GOOD SUBMISSIVE?
What is a submissive?
So now its your turn....... What does submission mean to you? How do you work towards being a better submissive for your Master? When did you come to realize you are a submissive and how?
