How to Determine if a D/s Relationship will work out? Focusing on Needs Wants and Hard Limits

When I first started thinking about what a D/s relationship would look like I did a lot of research because I had no clue. A D/s relationship is not something to just jump into lightly....this is someone that you will play with submit to and trust. These type of relationships take time to build a strong bond. How can you find the right Dom if you have no clue what you want out of the relationship? or what your own needs and wants are?  What are your boundaries? Hard Limits? Soft Limits? If you are new to the D/s BDSM lifestyle you may not know yet what you like or don't like. I'm going to show you an example of my needs and wants including relationship limits and play limits.

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What I need in a D/s relationship:

My Master needs to be understanding of me and patient. I would rather not have a new just starting out Master but rather someone with experience in the BDSM community. I would like a Master that has a compassionate side but yet can hold me accountable for things I may do that are not pleasing to him. I don't want to have to try to read my Masters mind I need open and honest communication. I would like the relationship to start out slow till we get to know each other to see if its a relationship match that will work for both of us. Needs to be a Master I can build trust in...a D/s relationship cant work if there's no trust.  


What Activities I would NEED OR WANT:

Some of my preferences are needs things I don't feel I could be without in a D/s relationship and others are just strong desires that could be worked threw with the right Master.

NEEDS: Play I enjoy

Spanking- Paddle/Hand
Intense Physical Play
Bondage- Rope is a huge turn on for me
                cuffs/ restrains leather
Sexy Boots
Spreader Bars
Leashes and Collared- public / private
Anal- Receiving
Oral- Giving and Receiving
Vibrators/ Dildos
Anal Plug
Anal Play
Anal Beads
Watching Porn
Total Power Exchange
24/7 submission
Shaved Clean-Self
Aftercare
Restrictive Rules for Behavior
Disciplined
Nipple / Clit Pinching
Masturbation- Private and Public
                      with Partner Self and /Or 
                      in front of others
Hair Play- Pony/ Pig Tails
Daddy/Baby Girl Relationship
Kneeling
Mind Control
Following Orders- Submission
Double Penetration- Toys
Sexy Lingerie
Objectification
Pain- Mild to Medium
Slapping
Ben Wa Balls

WANTS: Play I would be interested in exploring

Whipping- would like to experiment with various types
3-Some
Bi-Partners
Poly Relationship
Tantra 
Forced Multiple Orgasms
Forced Rape Themed Sex Fantasy/Rape
Orgasm on Demand
Orgasm Denial
Nipple Clamps
Lactation
Female Ejaculation
Double Penetration - multiple partners
Clit Pumping
Breast Fucking
Extended use butt plug/ dildo
Nudity Public (legal) events/ friends
Labia Clips
Hot Oil/Wax Play
Outdoor Sex
Pussy Whipping
Food Play
Ritual Spiritual non-religious 

WHAT ARE MY HARD LIMITS: Play Not Interested In!

NO Urine Play
NO Feces Play
NO Animal Play
NO Needle Play
NO Prostitution
NO UnderAge Play
NO Fire Play
NO Gun Play
NO Choking
NO Electric Play

WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS:
Compassionate / Dedicated / Passive/ Good Listener/ Communication/ Trustworthy/ Desire to Serve/ Artistic/ Creative/ Selfless/ Giving/ Good Personality/ Enjoy Nature/ Spiritual non religious / Open to new experiences/ Caring/ Willing to Work on Areas in my Life/ Open to change

WHAT ARE MY WEAKNESSES: 
Can be jealous if in a relationship that honestly isn't a strong point / Dealing with childhood Abuse/ Possible Fear of Abandonment (working threw this) / Trust in new relationships/ Body Image- thinking Im way to over wt when I'm in the upper limit of normal for ht

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Making a detailed list of your thoughts on what a D/s type relationship might look like for you is very helpful in looking for the right match. Doing this in a written form can be a useful tool when talking with a future Master about your Needs Wants and Hard Limits. In the beginning there may be many things that you are unsure of and will need some time to explore ..... read about or experiment with a partner and/ or alone. I know for myself my list has changed many times over the years so don't feel like once you write out a list like this that its set in stone! When forming your personal list its important to be honest with yourself .... you will learn a great deal about yourself.... take time when exploring all these areas of your life.